Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
