i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
