I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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