i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
There are leaves in my underwear?
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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