DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Randomize
