I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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