seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Randomize
