he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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