every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
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