Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
