I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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