is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Randomize
