Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
