would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Randomize
