he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
