Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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