just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Randomize
