trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
