sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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