If that was your dad, he is hot
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
