yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Randomize
