Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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