my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Randomize
