I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Randomize
