Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
