i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
