I can feel you judging me through the phone.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
