How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
