Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
