they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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