I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
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