I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
