My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
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