Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Randomize
