I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
