1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Randomize