we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
