well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I got inside last night via doggy door
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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