Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Randomize
