She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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