ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
There's always time for handjobs
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
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