ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
