Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
