i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
