i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
