You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
