He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
