So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
