If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize
