But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
No stitches, just platelets and will power
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
The air was thick with penises
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize
