I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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