Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
She just used a chaser for red wine.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
