the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Randomize
