i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
