i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
we're so committed to being not committed
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
