dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
